For Christmas, Give Yourself Some Slack

Across the years of being a pastor, I have sometimes struggled with the fear that my love for the people of the church would not be enough. That is why I am helped by a conversation that I read recently. A man told his friend that his efforts to do loving things for his brother would probably not be enough, because his brother was so demanding and complained all the time. His friend said, “Give your brother as much care as you can and then do a little more in order to stretch your ability to love. “

The man worried, "What if that's not enough for him? I can tell you it won't be."

"Listen carefully,” his wise friend said. “If it's not enough, it's not enough. You can't give more than you have, anymore than you can be taller than you are. If what you have to give isn't enough for your brother, then you have to be satisfied with your efforts, even if he is not. We're obligated only to do our best to love, never to fill the needs of another person."

We may have people tell us that our efforts to love them--to care for them, be with them, and more--are insufficient. Sometimes they even imply that we as people are not enough. What I am learning is that our inability to be as loving as people sometimes need or want us to be does not mean that we are failures as Christians. We need to grow in our ability to love and accept each other, and be gentle with ourselves in the process.

Colossians 3:12 says, “God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient.” Giving yourself some slack means being gentle, kind, and patient with yourself as well as with others.

This Christmas, gently push the limits of your ability to love others, but as you grow, be pleased with your efforts. Give yourself and God credit for the progress you see in your life. The Spirit of Jesus is there to guide you and to celebrate your growth with you.