God's Caring Presence and Alzheimer's Disease

This past week, I had a conversation with a woman whose husband has Alzheimer’s disease. I have recently presided at two funerals of people who died of this disease that causes so much emotional pain and suffering for both the patient and the family. It is now the 7th leading cause of death in America. The difficulties for the spouse of an Alzheimer’s patient are many.

There is the fact that the person who had been so independent now needs help with more and more of the everyday tasks of life. The person who has been your marriage partner for many years is no longer the person he or she used to be. The person who had an important job that required the ability to think clearly and make critical decisions is now unable to think through the simplest tasks. What a grief to look at your spouse and know that you are losing the ability to communicate with him or her.

It is very common that a person who has Alzheimer’s disease feels afraid. When the brain no longer tells you the basic information you need to feel safe – where you are, where your loved ones are, what is likely to happen when the doorbell rings, who you are and what family you belong to – then your fears take over. Some people who suffer from this disease become angry as a result of their fear and try to control the people around them.

Often the Alzheimer’s patient needs to be cared for in an institutional setting. Despite some people’s determination never to place their loved one in an institution of any kind, the patient often does better in the a nursing home or in an assisted living facility than in the care of a spouse at home.

Spiritual needs of the loved ones of an Alzheimer’s patient include the need for someone to listen and care and the need for assurance that the grace of God embraces persons who have lost their ability to think and control their emotions.

As I think about my conversations with people who have experienced caring for a spouse with Alzheimer’s, my question is how can we give assurance that God is still there with the person who doesn’t have the ability to think about God. Psalm 139 comes to mind. “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.”