Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, just before he went to the cross, “Not my will, but your will be done.” I want to pray that. I want to deny myself and follow Jesus. How do I know that I am actually doing that? The words of a prayer have helped me and comforted me. Thomas Merton was a Trappist monk at the Abbey of Gethsemane in Bardstown, Kentucky. I saw him there when my Church History class from Southern Baptist Seminary in Louisville visited his monastery in 1966. Merton’s writings have helped many people. This is his prayer.
"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."
I am comforted by these words in the prayer: “Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.” The spirit of those words is humility and trust. Even though I cannot know for sure that I am doing God’s will, I can trust God to accept my intentions to do what God wants. The desire to please God counts, because God is merciful. God knows that we are limited, frail and fragile humans. God will take my desire to please him and bless and use it for the sake of the kingdom.
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