Many of us who have been involved in church a long time have seen some foolish arguments take place between Christians. What I want to say in this piece is simply this: Here at New Hope Baptist Church we are going to avoid foolish arguments by keeping our eyes on what really matters. We are going to think about our potential disagreements this way. “In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things charity.” I think John Wesley the founder of Methodism said this, but he got it from someone else. It simply means lets agree to be together on the things that really matter and to allow each other freedom to disagree on things that don’t matter. In all things let’s agree that the most important thing is love.
I have it in my new member material, and I always ask those who are attending to think about what things are essential and what are non-essentials.
Paul looked at the arguing that was going on between Christians in Rome and asked them to think about the things that are essential and the things that are not essential. He spends eleven chapters talking about what God has done. God has given great grace to both Jews and Gentiles. Beginning at chapter 12 he begins to say, “Since God has been so merciful toward you, here is how you ought to live – in loving harmony, loving each other, welcoming and accepting those who don’t agree with you.” In Romans 14 he says there ought to be unfailing tolerance of others when they differ over food laws and Sabbath keeping.
So in the time our text was written, the issues were not our issues. We don’t argue with each other about whether we ought to be concerned about what food ought or ought not to be eaten. In our church we don’t divide up over what day we should take as a Sabbath.
What do we argue about? What are the non-essentials about which we might tend to get exercised, but about which we ought to allow ourselves freedom to differ.
· Social drinking
· Types of music to be sung in worship
· Political and social issues
What are the essentials?
To find the answer to that question all we need to do is to look at how Paul came to recognize that the kingdom of God is not about keeping rules and rituals about food or about worship days. Why does he say these are not what the kingdom is about?
In his own life, Paul had tried to earn his right to be called a godly person by keeping rules. He had been a Pharisee. He was good at keeping the Jewish law. That is what Pharisees did. That is how he was keeping his place in line. He was proving that he was right and those who didn’t keep the law the way he did were wrong. The people who were followers of the Jesus Way were so wrong in his eyes that he was doing all he could to wipe them out. He felt very right about having people who followed Jesus thrown into prison and stoned to death. They were messing up Jewish society. They were the enemies, of that he was certain, until he met the living Jesus on that famous Road to Damascus.
Somehow after that encounter with Jesus, Paul saw it all differently. This is the way he put it in his letter to the church at Philippi. You know my pedigree: a legitimate birth, circumcised on the eighth day; an Israelite from the elite tribe of Benjamin; a strict and devout adherent to God's law; a fiery defender of the purity of my religion, even to the point of persecuting the church; a meticulous observer of everything set down in God's law Book.
The very credentials these people are waving around as something special, I'm tearing up and throwing out with the trash—along with everything else I used to take credit for. And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I've dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him. I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God's righteousness.
Do you know the word “magnanimity?” It comes from a Latin word meaning “greatness of soul.” Here in Romans 14, the Bible is asking us to live out the magnanimity of grace. Grace is unselfish. We are being called to something that is not easy. It is easy for us to fall into rule keeping, criticism of the way others do things, getting legalistic with others. It is not easy to welcome and accept as members of our family those who disagree with us.
Philip Yancey says that he grew up in a legalistic church in which he got the impression that God was waiting to catch him doing something wrong and kick him out. Why do we so often become caught up in trying to tell others what they should, ought, and must do? Is it because we believe that love is a reward for being good, rather than a gift for just being who we are?
There is something in all of us that loves to be right. There is something in us that feels good when we have one up on someone else. There is a great need we tend to have: The need to be right. To want to be right makes sense in many settings. When you are in school you need to have the right answers in order to make the grades. When you are doing something that affects the lives of others you really need to be right. I want my pilot to be right when he makes decisions about flying the airplane I am in. I want my doctor to be right in his or her diagnosis about what is wrong with me. There are plenty of times when being right is critical.
The problem with being right comes to the fore when we need to be one up over another person. Divisiveness develops when people need to be right over other people. If my need to be right becomes so important that I put it ahead of being loving and joyful, I get into the position of being a divider of the fellowship of the church.
“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval” (Vv.17-18). What does he mean when he says, “Anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval?” What is “this way?”
“This way” is serving Christ by keeping your eyes focused on the goal of life. If you are a follower of Christ, the goal of your life is what? To be right about what people ought to eat and what day people ought to worship on? Is the goal of your life always being right? No! The goal of your life is to love others and to be happy in our Lord.
I am convinced that this is about the question that I have tried to learn to ask myself: “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” That is what Paul is saying to church people who are arguing over what kind of food ought to be eaten and church people who think they are right and don’t care what other Christians think. Apparently some people are not concerned like their friends in the church about meat eating. Since it is not a concern for them, they are not wiling to give up any times of meat eating for the sake of protecting the feelings of others. Even if their eating meat causes someone to stumble, Paul is saying, they should give it up at the time for the sake of not putting any kind of stumbling block in front of another person. He would say, “You and I agree that eating meat is not wrong. We see eye to eye on that. But there are times when it is best not to eat meat because it will cause someone who sees it differently than you do to get off the track of his or her spiritual growth.” I think Paul would ask, “Do you want to be right about the issues your church is arguing about, or do you want to live in the kingdom of God which is not about what is right to eat and what is right to drink. It is about treating each other right and having peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”
Whenever we are about to get into it with someone in our church we need to stop and ask ourselves this question: “Do I want to be right or do I want to treat others right and have peace and joy?”
I said that is a good question to ask yourself when you are about to get into it with another member of the church. It is also a great question to ask yourself when you are about to angrily argue with your wife or husband or child or anybody. “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy?”
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